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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25783330">Try My Best to Moonwalk on the Wire</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lo_lolita/pseuds/lo_lolita'>lo_lolita</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Umbrella Academy (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Daddy Kink, Drunk Sex, M/M, Mild Dubcon Vibes, Post-Season/Series 02, Power Bottom Five, Restraints, Riding, Voyeurism</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 11:41:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,582</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25783330</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lo_lolita/pseuds/lo_lolita</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In retrospect, Luther probably should've expected sex with Five would go something like this.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Klaus Hargreeves/Luther Hargreeves (mentioned), Number Five | The Boy/Luther Hargreeves</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>295</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Try My Best to Moonwalk on the Wire</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written in a rabid frenzy after finishing S2, because seriously, these two need SO many more fics. Please. I'm dying. Blame the "I'm the daddy here!" line, if you need to blame anybody or anything for this mess.</p><p>Unbeta'd. Titled after I'm Your Daddy by Weezer.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In retrospect, Luther probably should've expected sex with Five would go something like this.</p><p>In his defense, Luther hasn't exactly spent a lot of time <i>thinking</i> about fucking Five. It's crossed his mind once or twice, sure, especially when he was a teenager and the two of them were butting heads constantly; but the handful of strange dreams about skinny limbs and knee socks that Luther has had in the past few months since averting the apocalypse (twice) somehow never seemed to account for three things.</p><p>1) Five is approximately twice Luther's age, and thus probably has a whole lot more experience than Luther does (no matter what Luther's imagination has to say about blushing, pubescent virgins, fuck you very much);</p><p>2) Five's apparent age is a bit of a touchy subject, to put it lightly;</p><p>and 3) Five has never once shown signs of being anything but a controlling, domineering little shithead.</p><p>So really, the fact that Luther finds himself strapped — nude — to a steel table in his father's lab with an equally nude Five straddling his waist should probably be par for the fucking course. Luther's vague on the details of how they got here, only knows that they're both drunk and maybe he's a little buzzed on the few hits of pot he snuck from Klaus's bong earlier. He remembers Five sitting in his lap, remembers him saying something lewd and blunt about the size of Luther's dick, and then... Well, this. Whatever, exactly, <i>this</i> is.</p><p>"What... What are we doing?" Luther says once his tongue seems to come unstuck. Five has one hand behind himself, the other one helping to support his weight; he gives Luther a withering look at the question.</p><p>"I know you've only done it once, Luther," Five snaps, sounding breathless, "But it's called <i>fucking</i>, remember?"</p><p>Luther realizes now what Five is doing; he's opening himself up, is already up to four fingers inside that tight, tiny hole. He's gorgeous like this, a flush spreading up his chest and across his cheeks, and Luther is distracted momentarily before he remembers to respond.</p><p>"Right, but, like... Why," Luther manages. Those are words, at least, he's pretty sure, if not an actual sentence. Or question.</p><p>"Because you — ugh. Do we really have to do this again? Because you <i>get</i> me more than anyone else in this fucking mansion, and because you're hung like a horse and I need a cock in me, like, <i>yesterday</i> that I know isn't attached to a pedophile." Five pulls out his fingers with a little grunt, and then he's drizzling something unpleasantly cold and slick on Luther's cock. Luther winces, barely, at the temperature difference, but then the friction of Five's hand as he strokes Luther's cock is enough to warm it again quickly enough.</p><p>"Okay..." Luther mumbles, breathless, and shifts a little beneath Five. He tests the strength of the cuffs. He could break them, probably, but they're the ones Dad made especially for him; they'll hold well enough, unless Luther really puts all his strength into breaking them. "... Why here? With these?"</p><p>Five sighs irritably, scooting up in Luther's lap and positioning himself over Luther's cock. Luther is suddenly unsure it'll even go <i>in</i>, much less go in all the way. Five seems a lot more certain about it than he is, though, and really, Five probably knows a whole lot more about what he's doing here than Luther does.</p><p>"Because you said you were afraid you'd hurt me by accident, remember? I told you I could snap your neck in the blink of an eye, but you insisted on... Safety measures." Luther does remember, suddenly; it was one of the many sputtered protests he'd made while Five had writhed around in his lap and in between deep, hot, messy kisses on Luther's bed. Five had dragged him downstairs, then, all the way down to Dad's lab.</p><p>Before Luther can say so, though, Five is already sinking down onto his cock.</p><p>"Holy shit," Luther breathes, shaky. He wants to grab Five's hips, but those stupid fucking cuffs make it impossible. He can't move much at all, really, so instead he just watches while Five slowly but surely does his best to fit the entirety of Luther's cock in his ass.</p><p>"How big <i>are</i> you?" Five demands after about ten minutes of slowly inching down. It can't be pleasant or comfortable, Luther thinks faintly, but Five doesn't look like he's in pain. Just frustrated.</p><p>"Uh." Luther pauses to think. "Uh... Ten or so? Inches?"</p><p>"Ugh," Five sighs, but this time it sounds rather pleased. "Am I almost all the way down?"</p><p>Luther cranes his neck a little to check, then nods. "Another half an inch, maybe. Jesus, you're tight."</p><p>Five rolls his eyes. "I'm not a fuckin' virgin, but this body obviously is, so." He shrugs one shoulder, and in one swift motion, settles himself fully in Luther's lap. "Oh," Five breathes as he finally relaxes his thigh muscles, letting himself really feel the full burn of Luther's dick buried ten-or-so inches deep in his hole. "Oh, I <i>knew</i> I picked the right brother."</p><p>"Hey," Luther says, mildly affronted, and also grasping at the first possible distraction to keep himself from coming instantly. "There was a competition?"</p><p>Five shrugs, starting to move his hips in little circles. Luther grunts, arms tugging at his restraints fruitlessly on pure instinct. "Mm. Not really. Thought about asking Diego, but he'd probably be weirder about it than you," he replies after a few moments. Slowly, Five raises up a little on his knees and then sinks back down. The motion punches the breath out of Luther, and he's quite abruptly overtaken with the primal urge to pin Five down and fuck him fast and hard, regardless of how easy it'd be to hurt him.</p><p>Maybe the restraints were a good idea.</p><p>"You've — uh — done this before?" Luther manages to ask, and Five huffs out an irritated noise, easing into a steady pace.</p><p>"Obviously. I'm almost sixty, Luther." Five adjusts his angle the next time he sinks back down, and a pleased, hitching groan slips from between his parted lips. "Been a while, though. Certainly been a while since I was this <i>small</i> when I did it."</p><p>"Oh." Luther feels rather passive like this, and he's not quite sure how to feel about it. He's doing the penetrating, sure, but it feels more like <i>being</i> fucked than actually fucking. He must say so aloud, because Five snorts, picking up the pace a little.</p><p>"Well, I can't exactly reach your stupid face to kiss you, so you're gonna have to deal with it, Luther," Five pants. "Not gonna last much longer, anyway. I'm surprised <i>you</i> made it this long, honestly." He wraps a hand around his own cock as he speaks, keeping the other one on Luther's chest to hold his balance. Five's dick isn't small, really, not proportionally, but — it looks so much smaller with the sight of Luther's own massive cock thrusting in and out of his ass just a few inches away, and the difference makes Luther groan rather loudly, startling both of them.</p><p>"Close," Luther manages, and Five lets out a high whine in response that they both know he'd sooner kill Luther than confess to making. Five slows down, though, and Luther twists in his restraints again, frustrated. <i>"Five,"</i> Luther complains.</p><p>"Mm." Five smirks, circling his hips in a slow grind that makes Luther grunt again. "Call me 'daddy', and then I'll think about letting you cum."</p><p>And it's — it should feel ridiculous, it <i>is</i> ridiculous, but Luther is so fucking close that he could cry. He'd probably do just about anything Five asked him in that moment; calling him something kind of weird is a piece of cake.</p><p>"D—" Luther stutters, embarrassed, but soldiers on, albeit a little quieter: "Daddy, please, <i>please</i> let me cum," he breathes, and Five abruptly picks up the pace again, riding Luther hard and fast until he's coming deep inside his little-older brother with a noise that's equal parts groan and roar.</p><p>"Oh, fuck, Luther," Five curses, and he only bounces on Luther's cock half a dozen more times before he's coming, too, white streaking his own knuckles and Luther's chest. Five rides out his orgasm for half a minute, slow and easy, before easing off of Luther's dick with a grimace. He's just reaching up to undo the restraints when an all-too-familiar voice drifts over to them from the doorway.</p><p>"So that was weird," Klaus says, grinning. Luther and Five both look up quickly, and Luther flushes bright pink; even Five's face seems to color a little. "Wow, we've really all got to work on those daddy issues, huh? I mean, Luther's so desperate for a daddy—"</p><p>"Klaus," Luther warns.</p><p>"— He's willing to call the fifteen-year-old old man—"</p><p>"Klaus, shut the fuck up," Five snaps, gathering his briefs from somewhere on the floor. Luther, covered in fast-drying cum and still restrained, squirms pointedly. Five ignores him. Klaus just laughs, though, and draws closer until he's right beside Luther, and — oh. He's hard.</p><p>"Well, I'm just saying! Anyway, that looked like fun." Klaus looks down at Luther, trailing a hand along his torso. "Think you can get it up again, big guy? I kinda want a turn."</p><p>Luther's cock gives a valiant little twitch, and Klaus cheers; Five rolls his eyes.</p><p>"I'll go get some fuckin' Gatorade," Five mutters, and disappears in a flash of blue.</p>
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